When I hear, I haven’t had sex in an ‘X’ number of times. 

Oh wait, that was back in a pre-Internet era! Phew, nearly had a rhythmic gastro hat-trick of bubbles in my bathtub. Sorry! Moving on …

Sex is one of the most fascinating ideas if you ask me, although experiences are subject to dating apps’ subscriptions, and please read reviews carefully before indulging in its oddities. Pardon my Gyan but been there done that and I can swear by my Android phone who knows all my dirty secrets.    

It is not just about awareness of popular dating sites; but the profile matches that you get and its conversion into actual action in real-life date (which is different from what’s cooking in your head for almost 24*7, tch!). 

In the first meeting, when you lay your eyes upon your date; (maybe) at a coffee house or bookstore or at a nearby garden; perhaps even smiling; while silently feeling those sensuous tickles on your pleasure points by the ultimate intent of a wild hook-up, how animalistic no? Of course, kidding, I love it wild. (Not as wild as having goats and peacocks staring at my bare monkey-ass wild; just to put things in perspective and say no to confusions).  

Hookup dating consists of gamut of stimulations depending upon one’s fantasies: here’s an erotic visualization of hook-up enthu Hardicks and oozing Raaswantis. 

• From teasing-hugs in public to cozy cuddles from a stranger.
• From naughty confession whispers to parking lot moans under the moon. 
• The clapping sounds of thundering thighs that dripping heavenly pleasure.
• From slow waltzing penetrations in an ecstasy; too wild tango of strangers locking their feet and shivers of curly toes.

Natasha, an advertising agency professional from Bangalore shares; “Guys are so desperate, circa 2000 maybe. I really don’t even care anymore what guys think or want. Times have changed for women thanks to women’s rights movements globally against patriarchy and inequality at a wide spectrum. In bed, be mean, and take what you like, don’t ask. 

Demand or discard; if need be. Women who I know have a solid appetite for sex (yes I have dated such women too and they are blissful) and they know how to get their lady gardens eaten without hesitation; all thanks to Hook-up dating culture. I am educated and know not just how to make enough money smartly but also; how to have as many orgasms as I want and whenever I want without emotional song and dance. I love my life“

Roland from Goa had a different experience during his hook-up dating. His first time was with a married woman from Noida named Bulbul. Roland was confident of having mind-blowing sex with Bulbul but as it turned out Roland’s body didn’t respond well due to erectile dysfunction during sexual intercourse; needless to say this affected Roland’s confidence for more than a year. 

Porn had severely affected Roland’s sexual performance as his frequency of excessive masturbation was so consistent that even when he had the best hookup dates with a woman of his dreams, his sexual performance got awful. In this context, Roland’s heavy dependency on porn became his crutch and became a massive self-destructive activity not just for his dating life but at all aspects of his life including his mental health.

Roland’s masturbating speed was tuned to porn-surfing hence had ejaculation issues; as a man’s masturbating rhythm reflects his sexual intercourse’s flow too. 

Consumption of magic pills may or may not work for some; but again, there is another set of Enthu-Hardicks, who prefer getting at the destination, rather than enjoying the whole process of making love even at the idea of so-called Hook-up dating. Somewhat of a meaningless act if not enjoyed thoroughly by both as passionately. 

I often hear from women who I have dated, “I can’t have any physical relation if my mind’s not stimulated enough or if he/she isn’t good looking or with a perfect body.” Hook-up dating may seem an exclusive sizzling- sprinkle tadka of a bang-tales but there are wild stories and it isn’t just as boring as Jethalal-Babita hot neighbor fantasy’s humdrum. 

When Sushant and Calvin were drinking at a local bar to share tips on how to date hot singles or adventurous couples; they both had fantasies of dating couples with benefits. It is an ambitious idea for most, however soon they both realized I was smiling at them, so they asked: “who do you give more attention in a trio?” I said, “If you are the guest of honor; be like that and choose. Rest is the couple’s lookout. Don’t try to please both or balance pleasure ratios; take one touch at the time but don’t leave both unhappy if you are not confident of pleasing both completely. For some, watching their partner with someone itself is the wildest experience and so on.” 

Andrea is a Vice President of a prestigious MNC, travels long hours for work and pleasure.  From leading a multi-million dollar company to being a mom, wife, and daughter; Andrea has her own set of rules; at 45 I don’t need flowers or teddy bears when I return to my hotel room tired from con-calls at 2 a.m. I want a guy or woman that can silently undress me, pour wine, and give me a clean sixty-nine at the balcony of my hotel room without unnecessary wisdom of the world, where the only music in the room is of moans and grunts. A simple life, Andrea concluded winking at me. Hookup for her is a sea of puppies that are willing to wash her dirty laundry and this fan-club of Andrea includes some of the best looking genders with over hundreds of super-likes every other night. Andrea’s fantasies are often her realities; unlike many others.

For those who haven’t explored any hook-up dating experiences, don’t laugh at your personalities, (exclusively) it has nothing to do with it anyway: 

May the blanket of hope comfort you; may the clouds shine upon you in despair.

 

Written by Pushpendra Pandya