When the first date with a new partner ends with a declaration of love, it seems incredibly romantic, but it does not guarantee that the relationship will end in a happily ever after. In fact, how much do you know about each other, how confident are you that your passion will not fade away in a week? The first serious difficulties or one big quarrel will make you pack a suitcase, and the future will be covered with cracks. After all, a serious connection is not only about beautiful words and dizzy kisses. It is also about responsibility, the willingness to be near, and fight for each other, no matter what happens. We have collected seven red flags that hint you on serious problems.
- Offer to move in together right away
The spirit of adventurism is good, but not when it comes to creating a family. First, you should enjoy the honeymoon period to the fullest without all these household chores and routine problems. Then you should try to get to know each other better, “Why have you chosen a sweety date? How do you live? What do you dream about? What principles do you follow in life?” When a person is in a hurry, they want anything but a serious relationship. Perhaps they are driven by banal self-serving interests. Perhaps they want a good life and sex, no matter with whom. Or they have no other trumps, except to put pressure on you and get what they want. Keep your eyes open.
- Rush to call you their soulmate and introduce you to their family
You had only two dates, but the person has already changed their status on the social network? They told their friends that they had met a soulmate, and now they actively invite you to meet with their family? It is not just a weird, but rather infantile act. First, you should get used to each other, and get to know each other closer. Either your partner is a child who is looking for a parent, or they know nothing about personal boundaries and accepted norms. In any case, they are not interested in spending time on a dating period. If you refuse, they will quickly find a replacement.
- Inadequate jealousy, making a drama
It is pleasant when a partner is not indifferent to you, but the main thing here is not to overdo it. It is about unreasonable jealousy of a new partner when they try to limit your freedom, take control of all your life, ask questions about the ex, etc. right on the first dates. It is abnormal, and it indicates the latent aggressiveness of a date, their authoritarianism, and low self-esteem. If, for example, they begin to humiliate the waiters, it’s not worth staying with them.
- Come up with a pet name for you
Such words like “pumpkin,” “sweetie,” “kitty” may strengthen the relationship if you have long passed the phase of deep affection. However, if a person allows themselves to call you with silly nicknames already at the stage of early dating, they strive for self-affirmation. Such words depersonalize you, show their condescending attitude as if you are one more tick on their list. Do you really want to be there?
- Constantly violate your boundaries
If a date with a person turns into a limitation of your space, violation of plans, disrespect for your time, and desires, then it is a huge alarming signal! Most likely, you are dating an egoist who does not know how to consider and respect the needs of others. Such a person will destroy your self-esteem with time as well as harm your emotional state. How is this manifested? They do only what they want. They may force you to abandon plans only because they are bored. The chances are high that you will be left high and dry. A love affair should begin with respect.
- Make you the center of their universe
It’s pleasant when a partner puts you first on the list of their priorities. They are ready to come when you want to see them even if they have to reject hanging out with friends. However, such behavior should also alert you. When did they lose their head like that? Why, not knowing anything about you, they abandoned their previous hobbies, stopped working, communicating with their family, just to be with you? Doesn’t such obsession scare you away? Passion can happen, but it does not eliminate the need to live, work, develop, maintain contact with the outside world. If a person abandoned everything, then soon they may start demanding the same dedication from you.
- Offer adventure on the first date
You didn’t even have time to order coffee when your new friend offered to spend their vacation together or go to another country to get to know each other better on the way? Do not be fooled by the “road romance” since it is at least unsafe. What do you know about the person in front of you? Do you know about their activities, previous relationships, childhood traumas? Perhaps they are bored, and they are looking for a travel buddy. Or maybe they are looking for a suitable victim. Even if we do not exaggerate, there are too many “buts” in such an offer. You should know each other much better for any adventure. What will you talk about? How do you imagine a week under one roof with a stranger?
The first dates with a person are fact-finding. Do not immerse yourself in a new love affair. Look wider, dig deeper, take care of your heart, and give it to only worthy people!