Congratulations! You survived 2010 and have now made it to 2011 where you probably have new resolutions….losing that holiday weight and getting back in shape, getting back in touch with all those family members and friends who you lost touch with, and most importantly, being happy. If you’re single, you’re probably looking for your Mr. or Mrs. Right this year and you have now made a new dating resolution. Good for you!!!! It’s always good to modify your resolutions to help give that drive to achieve them. Not too long ago I came across an article on Glamour Magazine’s website where readers gave some of their own dating resolutions. It actually made sense when I read them, so I thought why not share it with you guys, our Urban Asian readers!!!!!
1. “STEP OUT OF MY DATING COMFORT ZONE.”
That’s right! You heard me!!!!! This reader basically said she is going on a Singles Trip to Costa Rica as a kickoff to her new dating routine because it’s out of her dating comfort zone. I’m not saying that you should go to Costa Rica, but you really aren’t going to meet anyone by sitting on your couch, so get up and get out there! Try something you wouldn’t normally do to meet someone.
2. “DATE OUTSIDE MY TYPE.”
Okay, I’m not saying to go and date the first hot person you meet who you know will break your heart. What I am saying is trying to date someone who you normally wouldn’t go for. Ladies, you know that computer techie who fixed your laptop when it crashed on you? Take a closer look at him as a person. He’s probably better looking than he looks! And guys, what about that really cute girl who works at Barnes and Noble? You know the one who knows everything about every book out there? Okay, she might be a book-worm geek, who you normally wouldn’t talk to, take a closer look at her. Intelligence is really sexy guys!
3. “TO CALL IN REINFORCEMENTS.”
Okay, I will say this a thousand and one times, what good is having that cousin whose wedding you were a groomsman/bridesmaid in if they can’t hook you up with their spouse’s friends or family? Indians are big believers in the traditional “arranged marriage” and for good reason. When parents know families of the eligible bachelors/bachelorettes, they have more of a feeling of comfort in knowing where their children will be happy. Times have changed where parents allow their children to meet one another prior to having their consent. Don’t just look towards your parents for reinforcements, ask your closest friends to introduce you to their single friends or family members who they think would be a great match for you. Who else knows you better than your friends and family?
4. “TO LOVE MYSELF FIRST.”
I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase, “Charity begins at home.” Same thing. When you love yourself, someone will love you also. Cheesy? Yes. But, it is true. You need to learn to love yourself for the good AND the bad. When you accept yourself and love yourself, someone else will see that too.
5. “TO HAVE A GIRL’S/GUY’S NIGHT.”
Who said that being single is a bad thing? Whether you are a male or a female, there is nothing wrong with going out with the girls or the guys for a night of bonding and mischief. Create a theme such as “Celebrating not being in a horrible relationship” or “For the years we’ve been good friends, Cheers to us!”
6. “FINALLY BREAK UP WITH THAT MR. /MISS WRONG.”
No one deserves to be in a bad relationship, nobody!!!! So why date someone just to be in a “relationship”? Come on! If you’re not happy, get out of it!!!!!
7. “TO BROADEN MY DATING POOL.”
As Matchmaker Patti Stanger says, “get a hobby”!!!! Join a class!!! That’s the best way you’ll meet someone! Stop trying to meet someone at a Bar!!!!! That is the last place to go looking for love!!!!! If you enjoy reading, look up local book clubs. If you enjoy cooking, try joining a local culinary. Your chances of meeting someone in a class are much greater than meeting someone over a beer. Who wants to talk to a guy/girl when you both have alcohol in your body? You never know what can come out. Not good.
8. “NOT TO GIVE UP AFTER THE FIRST DATE.”
You read that correctly. Do NOT give up after the first date. Unless your date has shown absolutely no manners on their first date, then by all means don’t even agree for a second date. However, if on the first date, you or your date were so nervous that you probably fumbled in words or showed clumsiness don’t worry about it. It’s probably a case of the “First Date Jitters.” We all go through them! And more importantly, if you and your date discovered you have things in common, go on a second date. If you both like sports, go for a sports game! Friendly competition is always attractive.
9. “SLOW DOWN”!!!!!
I don’t care how good the chemistry was between the two of you on your first date, slow down!!!! Do NOT sleep with your date till you are in a monogamous relationship of three months or more. Give the relationship time to grow. When you hold out longer it makes the chemistry a lot more intense.
10. “STOP FEELING GUILTY ABOUT DATING”!
Whether you are single, as in unmarried or you are a single parent, stop feeling guilty!!!! Those who have never been married face the pressure of getting married and sometimes feel guilty for dating whereas those who are single parents feel guilty for leaving their child or children at home to go out on a date. If dating is the only way you can meet your Mr. / Mrs. Right, then go for it! You deserve to be happy also!!!!
11. “STAND OUT”!!!
Uh huh! I said, “Stand Out!!!! Ladies, wear a bold color which you never thought you would wear! Wear it with confidence! If you have a pair of high heels that you never wore because you thought you’d look like a giant, wear them! Who cares what someone else thinks?! If they make your legs look killer, do it! Fellas, show off those awesome cooking, sports, techie skills! Do it!!!! Do whatever makes you stand out with confidence, not cockiness! Confidence! Guys, FYI, women really dig confident men, especially those who enjoy sharing their hobbies with others. If you enjoy cooking, why not have an “Iron Chef” night by inviting your friends over and cooking for them. What’s best is if you ask if anyone of them have a single friend who they can bring. *Hint*Hint* She will love watching you cook!
Being single is tough as you have so many expectations of your own and from others. It is a new year and more importantly, let this be about a new you. Along with modifying the rest of your New Year’s Resolutions, modify your dating resolutions as well. Try out one of these resolutions or create a new one for yourself to help you find your ideal match. They’re definitely out there; it’s just a matter of time till they show up at your door.
We at UrbanAsian would love to hear what you, our readers, think about this and other articles. Please feel free to add your comments as well as some of your own dating resolutions. We’d love to hear from you!!!!