It is a universally accepted fact that everything is better when you are in love. Food? Tastes better. The birds? They seem to be chirping a lovelier tune these days.
Fortunately – or unfortunately, depending on where your love life stands – this also seems to extend to sex and relationship. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with a casual romp in the sack, it feels inherently different when you’re making love versus engaging in a casual hook-up.
Making love can feel more passionate and intense, and the connection you feel with your partner on a physical level when completing the trifecta along with an emotional and mental connection is unmatched.
How is intimacy better when you are in love? We’ll walk you through 6 reasons why, and if you haven’t found your special someone yet, don’t fret. Everyone meets their person at their own time, and meanwhile, sex with someone you respect and find attractive is still great on its own – and remember, emotionally intimacy can be built over time.
1. The element of trust
When you’re truly in love, you trust your partner fully. Trust in the bedroom is like wood to a campfire – it just doesn’t work as well without it. When you trust your partner, you’re able to release any inhibitions that may be holding you back, which in turn makes you more relaxed and present. A trustworthy partner makes you feel comfortable being vulnerable, and you can then truly succumb to the experience and the pleasure.
2.Caring about each other’s orgasms
When you’re having sex with someone you are in love with, you genuinely care about their orgasm. It isn’t just some checkmark on your list so that you don’t seem selfish or some accomplishment to stroke your ego. You care about them getting off just as much like yourself, if not more.
You love seeing your partner happy, and being able to get them to a place where they are fully relaxed and in a moment of true bliss puts a genuine smile on your own face. And vice versa – your partner feels the same way, and therefore you both have more satisfying orgasm-filled sex lives.
3. Knowing what each other likes
When you care about someone deeply, you’re more likely to pay attention to their body and reactions. You’re also more likely to remember what moves make them shake with ecstasy, where they like to be touched, and how they like to cuddle afterward. There isn’t a steep learning curve every time – after a while, you both know what each other likes in the bedroom, and can therefore deliver without fault.
Being in love with someone also gives you this superpower of knowing exactly how the other person is feeling, and what they’re thinking – almost like a hyperactive intuition centered around the subject of your adoration. You’re so in tune with each other emotionally, and this translates physically in the bedroom as well.
4. The anxiety of not knowing where they stand emotionally isn’t there
A big thing with being in a sexual relationship with someone who you’re not in love with or isn’t in love with you is the uncertainty. Uncertainty of what they’re looking for, where the relationship is going, and how they feel about you. If you are developing real feelings for them, this could easily turn into anxiety, as the risk of getting hurt heightens.
People are unpredictable, and we change our minds often, sometimes for no good reason other than an inkling somewhere deep inside. While this can never be completely avoided, love is a lot harder to break than a simple crush or interest. When you two have defined the relationship and confessed your feelings for each other, there isn’t any confusion about each other’s intentions. You can rest assured knowing that your partner is going to be there in the morning, and the morning after, and the morning after that. They’re committed, and so are you.
5. You’re comfortable
When someone loves you, you find yourself caressed by a feeling of comfort and ease. You’re not worried about the extra loaf of bread you had with dinner or them seeing you before you’ve brushed your hair or put on makeup that day. You’re also not scared that if they go out to a bar with friends, they may leave with someone else or get lured elsewhere.
True love is comfort, and you don’t feel like you need to be at your 100% every time you’re about to have sex with them. Sure, you’ll want to put on your best performance – but it won’t be stemming from a place of insecurity or a need to impress. It’s because they make you want to be your best, most confident, authentic self. You’re happy, and in love, and this radiates outwards and translates into the bedroom.
You’re also more comfortable experimenting in the bedroom, with different sex positions or even with sex toys. And nothing is off-limits – since your lover knows you on a deeper level, they’re not fazed by whatever fantasy of yours you bring to the table. You never feel judged.
Speaking of sex toys, realistic squirting dildos are now becoming very popular. Luckily websites like hotcherry.com carry a large selection and you get to choose from different colors, shapes, and materials.
6.There’s an emotional connection
Last but not least, the best part of being in love is the emotional connection and the way that translates into the bedroom. Making love comes in first every time because of how emotionally charged it is. Being able to make eye contact and hold each other tightly connects you to your partner in a way that’s unlike any other feeling in the world.
If you’re in love but are in a long-term relationship and feel like the desire is gone, there are ways to reignite the flame. Consider having an open and honest conversation with each other about it, and if you’re both committed, you will discover new ways to recapture the emotional intimacy you once had – whether it’s through research, a relationship therapist or even just through quality time.