Guess we all try to have fun when we are about to get hitched! We can’t be so serious all the time if we are getting married! Now can we? But when we do get married to our loved one – we don’t like one part of the wedding. Well that is for ladies who end up having to leave the parents and family to live with another one. Why is it that we cry and why is it that at the end of each wedding we get emotional. It’s because we love our parents. And one actress didn’t even want to perform that part of the wedding and was told she will understand why we do the ceremony of the ‘Kanyadaan’.
That’s What Actress Vidya Balan, Who Is Married To Siddharth Roy Kapoor, tells Shubarna Mukerji Shu.
Throughout the lead-up to the wedding, my mother would get emotional – sometimes it would come out as an outburst that I was not getting enough rest, sometimes there were just tears. I remember the night before the wedding, my father and sister went to check if everything was in place, and when they returned I just burst out crying. I don’t think I got overtly emotional but there are some distinct memories of not welling up, but full-blown crying. For instance, the Kanyadaan… I actually fought the Kanyadaan ceremony as much as I could…I don’t like the idea that the kanya is something that can be given away as daan…
“In my college days and all, I have vociferously said no, never a Kanyadaan. And then when we decided on the South Indian ceremony, the pundit who had conducted my mother’s first birthday pooja, my parents’ wedding and my sister’s wedding, someone very revered and buzoorg, told me, ‘You may not believe in it, someday you will realise the meaning behind it… Even if you don’t, it won’t be such a horrible thing to do for people who believe in it, which is your parents.’ He put it so beautifully that I said, ‘Okay, I’ll do it’.
“I must admit, it was during this ceremony that I cried the most. They make you sit on your father’s lap and the moment I sat on his lap… I just burst out crying… I think that’s when it hit me, that I was not going to wake up and see my parents first thing in the morning every single day of my life anymore… Our Grihapravesh at home was equally bad; I just couldn’t believe my parents were leaving! I guess that is what makes a marriage – good food, beautiful clothes, fun, laughter and lots of tears too.
“At some point everyone breaks down. I guess that is why there are so many rituals involved in weddings: it keeps people, especially the girl’s family too busy to think! I remember, my brother-in-law, Kedar welling up… to him it was like a sister’s wedding, he was so involved in everything. When he broke down it was overwhelming.”
No one likes doing this part of the ceremony but as we all know it’s a ritual that can’t be broken. In the end we all are attached to our parents in some way and as a women we are never mentally prepared for this part of the ceremony!