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It’s natural to want to help people. We want to please our friends, loved ones, and co-workers. As much as you want to say “yes,” sometimes it’s necessary for your mental health to say “no.” You can’t do everything all the time, and if you try, you might jeopardize your sanity. It’s crucial to avoid over-committing because it can lead to burnout. Here are reasons and ways to say “no,” that will help you draw necessary boundaries.
Avoid resentment
If you say “yes,” when you actually want to say “no,” you could end up feeling resentful. You may have said yes because you wanted to please someone. For example, let’s say a friend wants you to be a bridesmaid in her wedding, but your life is crazy at the moment. You just had a new baby, and you’re overwhelmed. You feel guilty because you want to support your friend, but you don’t have the mental and emotional energy to be a part of a wedding party. Despite your feelings, you suck it up and agree to be a part of the wedding party. That could lead to you resenting your friend and feeling like she doesn’t respect your feelings. Instead of saying yes, you could tell your friend you’re too overwhelmed to be at the wedding party, but you’re dedicated to being there for her special day. It’s okay to tell her “no,” if it can benefit your mental health.
Self-care
When you say no, you’re respecting your wants and needs. You have basic needs, such as food and sleep, which need to be satisfied. Other than those, only you know what’s right for your life. It’s crucial to stay positive and do things that make you feel good. If a situation makes you feel uncomfortable, you can say “no.” You don’t agree to attend an event you don’t feel comfortable going to, or accept a job that isn’t for you, even if the money is good. Ultimately, it’s your life, and you need to feel comfortable. There are so many things in life that we have to say yes to, so when there’s an opportunity to say “no,” to take care of yourself, do it. Part of self-care is knowing what you have the energy to do, and not overloading yourself. Take on what you can handle, and say no to what you can’t. That way, you’re protecting yourself.
Saying “no” isn’t mean
You might feel like saying “no,” is rude or unkind. In reality, saying no is not only protecting you but helping the individual, you are setting the boundary with as well. If you don’t agree with something, you’re setting a reasonable expectation. That way, you don’t over-promise, end up feeling guilty when you don’t deliver, and disappoint someone else. Saying no is saving you time and energy. Setting those boundaries is helpful and healthy.
Therapy can help you learn boundaries
Many people struggle with setting boundaries and saying “no.” Therapy is an excellent place to talk about these issues. You can talk to a therapist about what your triggers are, and why you’re tempted to say “yes,” if you actually want to say “no.” Online therapy is an excellent place to get help with your problems. It’s flexible and affordable, and you can talk to a therapist from the comfort of your home. BetterHelp is known for providing quality online counseling and supplying great therapeutic advice. You can read more about the service on their Facebook page.
Whether you see an online therapist or work with a therapist in private practice in person, counseling is a perfect place to learn more about yourself and find ways to set boundaries with people in your life.
Marie Miguel Biography
Marie Miguel has been a writing and research expert for nearly a decade, covering a variety of health- related topics. Currently, she is contributing to the expansion and growth of a free online mental health resource with BetterHelp.com. With an interest and dedication to addressing stigmas associated with mental health, she continues to specifically target subjects related to anxiety and depression.
