Back to Basics: Dating 101


Recently, a friend of mine and I were discussing the difficulties of reading “signs” in dating. My friend recently came out of a marriage where he and his wife dated seriously for eight years prior to getting married. Unfortunately, after two years of being married, they separated and shortly afterwards divorced. While my friend realized mistakes he made in their relationship, he is now having a hard time getting back into the field of dating.

I agree with him. With times like ours, it seems as if we end up having more of a relationship with technology rather than the person on the other end. In addition, men and women tend to throw so many “signs” of interest or lack of interest in dating and relationships, that a lot of people seem to want to either give up and “just settle” so they don’t end up alone, or they run the other way and busy themselves in work so they don’t have time for a relationship. So, let’s start with the basics.

Let’s say, you are a professional guy in your mid-20’s-to-late-3o’s. You meet a smart, attractive, intelligent woman at a networking event, for example, with whom you have been having a great conversation with. You exchange phone numbers, and tell her you will call her. All right, the first sign of interest you showed was asking her for her phone number. The second sign you sent out was telling her you will call her. First things first. Are you genuinely interested in her? If so, make sure you follow through with it. More so, if you told her you will call her the next day, do it! If you really hit it off that well when you met, ask her for dinner. (A good thing to remember is: Coffee is cheap, drinks are an audition, lunch is an interview, and dinner means business…the business of romance.) So, lesson #1? When you exchange numbers with someone, call them! And lesson #2, if you are genuinely interested, go straight for a dinner date.

Now let’s move forward a little bit into getting to know one another. A lot of men and women get confused with questions they are asked. They sometimes have a hard time deciphering whether a person is interested in a relationship or not. When a person is seriously looking for a relationship, they will ask you questions about yourself, your education, your future plans.  Nuff said! They will be honest with you about themselves and what they are looking for. They will ALWAYS show you with their actions, and not just with their words.  However, if at any point you feel confused, never be afraid to talk to them and ask them. If they are an honest individual they will tell you what is on their mind. Guys, this goes out for you as well. When in doubt, ask!

The bottom line is this: in the world of dating it’s easy to become confused by “signs” we are shown. However, if we learn to be honest with the other person from the beginning, these signs become less confusing. More so, it becomes easier to develop a relationship.